Lets End The Mum Shamefest!

Together lets end the mum shamefest!

I’m sick of listening to some mums shaming other mums out there! Yet I am so guilty of doing it unknowingly myself. Newsflash mums, we are all guilty of it at some point! You have judged other mums in the playground, in the shopping centre and heck even on facebook!

Im ashamed to say it, but yesterday I was guilty of it. I was walking through the shops while B man was having a nap and I walked past another mum who had a 4 year old sucking away on a dummy and I thought to myself wow that’s old to still have a dummy…….I brought myself back into line, I quickly said to myself  "Don’t judge you don’t know their circumstances! She’s doing the best she can and she’s being the best mum she can possibly be!", exactly like we are all trying to achieve.

As a first time-mum, I’ve come to this simple realization: If you’re worried that you’re not a good parent, trust me, that makes you an amazing parent!! So, take a step back, pat yourself on the back for being awesome, and then walk up to another parent and say, “You’re doing a great job!” No, seriously, do it. We need to start helping and stop shaming each other! We are all parents; we all understand how hard some days are!

So here are some of my biggest mum shame topics I have come across! I say some because I would be here all day if I mentioned every single topic I have come across!

1.      Breastfeeding:

We all get it some mums have their babies naturally, and then have more milk than the local dairy farm and your baby latched to your boob with no effort what so ever! Oh hold on a moment that was me! its so easy to forget that not everyone has that experience. Even if some mums don’t say it, they can feel really crappy about themselves watching you just whip your boob out without a second thought. I know this because a friend of mine was having such a hard time with breastfeeding. She came for me for advice but I literally had nothing! She tried everything she could to try and get her baby to breastfeed. She was pumping at every feed, and didn’t get to feed her baby! So she didn’t feel she was bonding with her baby. She did all she could but decided the best thing for her and her baby was to bottle/formula feed. She made the right choice! Because the mother’s choice is always the right choice!

All of this "breast is best" bs is just another way to shame mothers. A fed baby with a happy stress free mumma is "the best".... 100% hands down. So lets cut the breast feeding shaming. 

2.       Co Sleeping:

Co Sleeping is a subject that comes up A LOT! It’s something we never did. It’s a personal choice. There were some early mornings I would actually bring Brandon into our bed but there would be no chance he would ever fall asleep it’s like he knew and still knows this is not my bed!

Parents and babies have been sleeping together for centuries. It’s completely normal. It’s even natural I guess. Research is clear sleeping is good for everyone. Although there is connections with SIDS, its best to look into the SIDS website for information on that.

If Co-Sleeping works for your family, then do it. You do what works!

My way is not necessarily the right way. I just do what works for me and my family. And Co-Sleeping is not something that ever worked for us! So whether you sleep with your little one beside you in bed or in another room of the house in their own cot, thats great!!! have a nice sleep and lets stop the co sleeping shaming.

3.       Dummies:

We have all been the witness to the smug looks parent can give when they see a baby with a dummy. You know exactly what they are saying, and I don’t need to point it out again or give my own opinion. Because in the early days we were using a dummy for Brandon but I’m going to be honest here, he had no idea what to do with the thing, he would just chew on the hard plastic end and not the soft dummy part!

The real truth with dummies is they can be helpful especially for those breastfeeding mums and they can be extremely soothing for babies. It has been shown to actually help mums establish breastfeeding with their newborns and not actually harm them. It actually lessens the risk of SIDS during a baby’s first year and that’s reason enough not to shame its use!

So it’s time to end the “shamefest”!

So many times you have see or even heard other parents whispering about other parents. We should be supporting each other not shaming!

We are all doing our best and being the best parents we can possibly be! So let’s all stick together instead of Shaming each other! Next time you see a parent struggling tell them they are doing a wonderful job! We are all going through this journey together.