My Husbands Memory Of Brandons Birth

One thing that always surprised me was the differences in my memory of the birth of our son Brandon, vs my husbands recollection. Some things shocked me, some things stunned me, but overall it just solidified in my mind how men are from Mars and women own the rest of the universe.

So after some persuasion I asked my husband Brent to put together a blog post on his experience….

Brent’s birth story…

As I looked down on my son Brandon for the first time, I thought to myself about everything I have done to get to this point. Tears welled up, my little mans mouth opened and closed so slowly, so instinctively, so perfectly, he wasn’t even here 30mins ago, but he already is a natural at this “life” business. Something that 32mins ago was looking very touch and go.

A nurse walked by and patted me on the back and said “good work daddy”… My brain went into overdrive, I literally thought “whos she calling daddy… that’s a bit creepy” Finally it clicked, it was me.

I was surrounded by bright lights, beeping noises and about 5 other small babies that needed care in the SCU (Special Care Unit). My eyes only focused on one baby… My guy Brandon… for a fleeting moment I thought to myself I wish Heidi could see me now, chest puffed up, holding onto the trolley with my pride and joy, I made this little human… this little man, and it was just me and him. My brain kicked back into gear, wait… where is my wife…? And I remember telling myself “oh shit shes back in the birthing suite” which is 1 story below where the SCU was. That’s right you idiot she just gave birth to your little man after 10 hrs of labour and some seriously scary shit happing at the last minute and your walking around with your chest puffed up like a total idiot. There was blood… soooo much blood… You need to get back down there and make sure your wife is ok…

So this is where I made my first mistake… The first of many… I decided to leave my new born son alone in the SCU and make a mad dash back down to my wife… she needed me of course. Before I left I did like any new father would do, I took a selfie of my new son, mostly because I was paranoid someone would mix up my cute boy with some other ugly baby and swap them, so then I ran out of there without even picking up the swipe card to enter the SCU (woops).

I was running… like a crazy man… if someone got in my road I was going to shoulder charge them out of the way, my wife needed me. I burst into the birthing suit, run to my wifes room and expect the warm embrace of my wife… well NOPE… What happened was I walked in and my wife was sitting up in her bed eating jelly from a cup… She looked at me and turned white, mouth partially open, her first words was “What are you doing here… you should be with Brandon” my response of “but but but I took a selfie”. As I said, this was my first mistake.

How did we get here? About 10 hours prior I was watching
 my wife being plumbed up to a syntocinon drip to bring on contractions to pop this baby out of her. A induction wasn’t in our plan.. but as everyone had told us, you don’t make a plan, you just go with the flow.

So I sat in the birthing suite with Heidi expecting things to happen quickly… I was like a kid waiting for Christmas… I was bouncing around like it was the 1^st December and I knew Santa was on his way, constantly pestering my wife. Do you need a back rub? Do you need some water? What about a heat pack? Is that a contraction? How about some food… I basically kept that on repeat for about 1 hour solid.

To say I hit a wall was an understatement. I was exhausted, for the past 2 weeks we had been on edge told that our baby was a IUGR (intrauterine growth restricted) and weighing approximately 2kg, we knew that was small, they explained and detailed how everything could go so we wernt shocked, the main thing being a quick birth so our little person would come out quickly a without consuming much of his vital energy.

So as I hit the wall I quietly sat in the large comfy reclining chair thinking about objects that weighed 2 kg to try and get an idea of how much my little one would weigh when he came out… a bottle of coke… a bag of oranges… a bottle of milk… and boom I was out.

Apparently snoring loudly and missing an entourage of midwife visits, all of which apparently came and had a good laugh at the husband that was out cold in the chair.

I woke up to my wife an hour later, her first words to me were “are you having a good time over there?, because I would like that heatpack now”. I felt like a proper idiot. I fell asleep while my wife was going through induced contractions and didn’t even have me the “assistant” awake to help out.

Awake and suitably caffeinated I went to work trying to support my beautiful wife… only problem was Heidi was limited to her left side. Turned our little one had decided life was too hard in any other position and his heart rate wanted to go lower and lower, so the nurses suggested positions until they found the one that worked. Hey presto… left side it is… FOR 10 HOURS. My poor wife, we had these plans and strategies for a natural birth, ball exercises, yoga positions, supportive shawls, back massages etc. And all I could do was face her on her left side.

Contractions came, and contractions went. I started getting used to what they looked like on the computer screen vs how they started to feel with my hand on Heidis stomach. I knew in depth what was exactly happening to my wife that laid in front of me, Heidi had organised for us to do a calm birth course (http://www.calmbirth.com.au/ ) in addition to the standard hospitals birthing course. Im not going to lie, I learnt the most from Calm Birth and it prepared me for this process better than anything else in the 9 months prior. I knew everything that would happen, and I knew how my wife and her body would do it. The course also gave me strategies on how to support my wife through this process. Something that I found lacking in even the hospitals course.

So away we went, right into the birthing process. Heidi’s contractions were fast and hard due to the syntocinon hormones flowing through her body, bringing on waves of contractions. We knew from our birthing course’s that this would be the hard road, syntocinon is like using a sledge hammer to hit a nail.

So Heidi gritted and bared as much as she could for a long time, and then she broke. They call it the “fight or flight” reflex, an evolutionary hangover from the days when humans wernt civilised like we are now and would have to either fight a predator or run away from it. Its that chest pumping adrenalin hit that causes your body to go “OH SHIT DO SOMETHING” and in this case of child birth it causes child birth to stall and emotions/adrenalin to kick in.

Heidi looked at me on her left side, my hand in hers, a tear rolled down her face and she said “It hurts too much”… That was the time I had to remind her of her “fight or flight”… we talked it through and I let her know I was 100% behind her with any decision… but… we needed to get through the next contraction before I would leave her to seek a nurses help. My wifes face changed from flight back to fight, the tear rolled away and never came back and she went back to the task at hand. Getting through that next contraction.

I quickly hauled ass to get some assistance, possibly a nurse to talk to us about pain relief options, and that’s when I knew something was up at the nurses station. Quite whispered discussions were happening, a 3^rd nurse rolled in saying “well if another one of these girls needs an emergency caesarean we will need to call in a room from the adjoining public hospital” this was not good mostly because of the distances involved, I thought for about 2-3 seconds and decided I would keep this information from Heidi, last thing I needed to do was bring back the “flight”.

So I quickly hurried back into the room after getting a nurses attention for some pain relief. Heidi and I had previously discussed pain relief options, and decided to try nitrous oxide (laughing gas) to take the edge off the pain, which kind of worked, she didn’t laugh so that was disappointing, but it did focus her breathing and take us through to the next hour before Heidi wanted to step up her pain relief options to an epidural (spinal block).

At this point Heidi instantly relaxed, and as it turns out, relaxed enough to basically go from halfway dilated for 9 hour’s worth of labour, to fully dilated and feeling the need to push at the 10 hour mark.

This is where shit got real quickly, and my “fight or flight” started kicking in.

Firstly I heard another women leaving for an emergency caesarean (turns out its one of Heidi’s mothers group friends who had a boy only a couple of hours before our guy) so I got the distinct impression we were having the baby in this birthing room regardless of how things went since there was no other surgical rooms available if Heidi needed a caesarean.

Secondly our babies heart rate started dropping during every push. I could feel the tension, I could feel the midwifes eyes on the monitor and worst of all I could hear the heart beat coming out of the machine going slower and slower.

Thirdly when the midwife pushed an emergency call button that’s when it went from 3 people in the room (Heidi, me and our midwife) to every frigging person in the entire universe, I swear it even felt like there was a channel 9 news team in there at one stage. People were prepping tables, pulling cords, calling numbers, screaming instructions, baking cakes… just kidding. Wanted to check you’re still reading this ;)

Next thing I know our obstetrician is in there taking the drivers seat, for about 30seconds I thought “great we are in the clear, Jillian’s here”, but alas she took a look at the situation, the computer, the heart rate and called for the paediatrician.  Her words were something like “I don’t care if shes in an emergency caesarean, she needs to get here NOW!!!”

At this point my head started to swim, my hand on my wifes shoulder, my heart was pounding so hard I could hear it in my ears, but the other thing I was hearing less of was my babies heart rate… a nurse called it out during the next push… 100… 80… 60… 0… 0… 10… 60… 100…

We had been told this before, IUGR babies get very tired during the birthing process, very quickly, the little guys heart beat was slowing down, either he was tired or the umbilical cord was getting squashed. We didn’t want to stay here pushing for much longer.

I felt the door burst open and the paediatrician stormed in and made a line straight for the resuscitation table that was built into the wall of the birthing suit. For a moment I thought, whats she doing? She should be over here helping my wife, but then it clicked, she wasn’t turning on the oxygen tanks and laying out all of the tools for my wife, they were laying it out for my baby.

100… 80… 60… 0… 0… 0… 0… 0… It felt like a lifetime at zero before the heart beat kicked back in. 10… 10… 20… 60…

Our obstetrician took it up a notch, after trying to use the head/suction cup thing for 2 pushes, and Im not joking she basically was pulling on the cord like she was doing a highschool tug of war, out came a pair of scissors. Now im not good with blood… but for some reason I was watching and I couldn’t stop watching…. I wish I didn’t watch. For any first time fathers out there that are sitting there wondering what your partner’s lady parts are going to be like during child birth, I’ll put it this way…

Its like watching your favourite pub/bar burn to the ground, you hope its going to be rebuilt quickly and open for business in a couple of days, but something in the back of your mind is just saying from what you have seen its probably going to be out of business for a while.

So after the horrific vision I just had to witness the last push came…

In one quick swoop my son came out… screaming his frigging head off…

I could see everyone in the room, the paediatrician included, stop what they were doing and freeze, transfixed on this little noise maker screaming in perfect newborn English “YOU BASTARDS PULLED ME OUT AGGGGGGGRRRRR”

Plonk on my wifes chest went my new baby, and up until this point I didn’t know the sex of my little one, only to inform my wife that he had “massive balls” big balled Brandon… has a nice ring to it for his 18^th speech, ill remember that one.

The relief kicked in when the paediatrician walked over and had a quick look at him, she smiled and said he was fine to stay on Heidis chest for a couple of mins.

We had our moment together, Heidi me and Brandon. He wouldn’t stop screaming the room down, but we were quite happy about that, considering everyone in the room was preparing for a very different situation.

After the paediatrician gave him the full once over, we were given our little man to hug and hold, Heidi gave him a kiss and I nearly threw up in my mouth. Some family joined us and we all had a moment together. We had around 30 mins before he had to go upstairs to SCU to go on a monitor, and as I said, the proudest day of my life wheeling my little man up to that room, chest puffed up and head held high. 

Lets End The Mum Shamefest!

Together lets end the mum shamefest!

I’m sick of listening to some mums shaming other mums out there! Yet I am so guilty of doing it unknowingly myself. Newsflash mums, we are all guilty of it at some point! You have judged other mums in the playground, in the shopping centre and heck even on facebook!

Im ashamed to say it, but yesterday I was guilty of it. I was walking through the shops while B man was having a nap and I walked past another mum who had a 4 year old sucking away on a dummy and I thought to myself wow that’s old to still have a dummy…….I brought myself back into line, I quickly said to myself  "Don’t judge you don’t know their circumstances! She’s doing the best she can and she’s being the best mum she can possibly be!", exactly like we are all trying to achieve.

As a first time-mum, I’ve come to this simple realization: If you’re worried that you’re not a good parent, trust me, that makes you an amazing parent!! So, take a step back, pat yourself on the back for being awesome, and then walk up to another parent and say, “You’re doing a great job!” No, seriously, do it. We need to start helping and stop shaming each other! We are all parents; we all understand how hard some days are!

So here are some of my biggest mum shame topics I have come across! I say some because I would be here all day if I mentioned every single topic I have come across!

1.      Breastfeeding:

We all get it some mums have their babies naturally, and then have more milk than the local dairy farm and your baby latched to your boob with no effort what so ever! Oh hold on a moment that was me! its so easy to forget that not everyone has that experience. Even if some mums don’t say it, they can feel really crappy about themselves watching you just whip your boob out without a second thought. I know this because a friend of mine was having such a hard time with breastfeeding. She came for me for advice but I literally had nothing! She tried everything she could to try and get her baby to breastfeed. She was pumping at every feed, and didn’t get to feed her baby! So she didn’t feel she was bonding with her baby. She did all she could but decided the best thing for her and her baby was to bottle/formula feed. She made the right choice! Because the mother’s choice is always the right choice!

All of this "breast is best" bs is just another way to shame mothers. A fed baby with a happy stress free mumma is "the best".... 100% hands down. So lets cut the breast feeding shaming. 

2.       Co Sleeping:

Co Sleeping is a subject that comes up A LOT! It’s something we never did. It’s a personal choice. There were some early mornings I would actually bring Brandon into our bed but there would be no chance he would ever fall asleep it’s like he knew and still knows this is not my bed!

Parents and babies have been sleeping together for centuries. It’s completely normal. It’s even natural I guess. Research is clear sleeping is good for everyone. Although there is connections with SIDS, its best to look into the SIDS website for information on that.

If Co-Sleeping works for your family, then do it. You do what works!

My way is not necessarily the right way. I just do what works for me and my family. And Co-Sleeping is not something that ever worked for us! So whether you sleep with your little one beside you in bed or in another room of the house in their own cot, thats great!!! have a nice sleep and lets stop the co sleeping shaming.

3.       Dummies:

We have all been the witness to the smug looks parent can give when they see a baby with a dummy. You know exactly what they are saying, and I don’t need to point it out again or give my own opinion. Because in the early days we were using a dummy for Brandon but I’m going to be honest here, he had no idea what to do with the thing, he would just chew on the hard plastic end and not the soft dummy part!

The real truth with dummies is they can be helpful especially for those breastfeeding mums and they can be extremely soothing for babies. It has been shown to actually help mums establish breastfeeding with their newborns and not actually harm them. It actually lessens the risk of SIDS during a baby’s first year and that’s reason enough not to shame its use!

So it’s time to end the “shamefest”!

So many times you have see or even heard other parents whispering about other parents. We should be supporting each other not shaming!

We are all doing our best and being the best parents we can possibly be! So let’s all stick together instead of Shaming each other! Next time you see a parent struggling tell them they are doing a wonderful job! We are all going through this journey together. 

Thankyou Nappies.....Are They As Good As Huggies??

Nappies always seem to be a popular subject when it comes to being a new mum.

Which are the cheapest but most absorbent?

So when one of my mummy group girls told me about the Thankyou brand nappies I thought 'great, not only are they meant to be great nappies, but 100% of profits help end global poverty by funding life-changing projects around the world'.

Did you know that currently one mum dies every 90 seconds in pregnancy or childbirth and 2.9 million babies die within their first month? These are mostly preventable issues. So by purchasing these nappies you help to end these devastating occurrences.

My first thought was do they hold as much as Huggies? My short answer is yes they do hold as much as Huggies!

I was wondering what the best way to find out if Thankyou brand holds as much as huggies so I did a fluid test on the Thankyou Brand (Toddler) Vs Huggies (Toddler) and found that both hold exactly 500ml, although the Huggies did feel slightly drier, but there was no leakage what so ever in either nappies. So if you ask me I will be using Thankyou for the day but will stick with Huggies at night, because who wants to do a full clothing and nappy change in the middle of the night? We need as much sleep as we can without having to change clothes and nappies!

Although the Thankyou brand do hold as much as Huggies I would be a bit worried about leakage with the Huggies being so much drier compared to Thankyou.

Do they hold those big poos you ask? Now that’s something I haven’t experienced just yet, but once he does do a poo in the Thankyou nappy I will be sure to update! Oh the life of a mum -  it’s all wees and poos and whether or not a nappy will hold them at the same time! Ok he must have known I really wanted to test these nappies out because thats right you heard it He did a huge teething poo! And it kept it all inside the nappy!!!!!!

Seriously though mummies, don't take my word for it, please try them out! Profits are going to such a great cause!!

Lastly, I definitely think that the Thankyou nappies fit Brandon a lot better. The poor thing has his mamma's fat arse, hips and thighs! So sometimes nappies just don’t sit right around his hips and bottom, but these ones definitely do.

Have you tried the Thankyou nappies? I would love to hear your experience.

Weaning from Breastfeeding to Formula

So I'm going to simply say this, breastfeeding for me came very easy. I'm still not sure if I was just a.....how do I put this?? a "natural" or Brandon had a great latch. The nurses actually said I hope you want to breastfeed because he has a great latch and perfect lips for breastfeeding. As one of my wonderful mumma groups friends always says how perfect his lips are. Like seriously shes obsessed with his lips! But today I'm going to be talking about transitioning from Breastfeeding to Formula and why i decided to transition to formula.


I really enjoyed breastfeeding, that bond between a mother and a baby during breastfeeding is just so special. Even the bond when bottle feeding is also a special time! I remember one of the first times i fed him he would just stare at me straight in the eyes. It was that moment he knew I would always protect him!

At around the age of 4 months Brandon became alot more interested in the world around him than actually breastfeeding. Every light, every colour, every sound became his priority and feeding became uninteresting. At about the same time I unfortunately got mastitis and let me tell you that hurt worse than actually having a baby itself!!!! (ok maybe Im being a bit dramatic)!
For those who don't know what mastitis is in a nutshell its an infection in the milk duct. I remember waking up around midnight with cold sweats, I wasn't sure if i was hot or cold but I knew i was sweating profusely! So I went and had a shower to try and get rid of the pain in my breast. My breast was very red and swollen and I knew exactly what was going on after a quick google search! Don't get me wrong google also told me I was dying of cancer. I'm always telling my husband not to google diagnose but there i was doing exactly what I tell him not to do. There was nothing I could really do until the morning so i pumped a little bit and got some sleep while I could. I went to the doctors the next morning and yep as I googled I had a bad case of mastitis! A dose of antibiotics and I would be alright.

Moving forward another month Brandon became more and more difficult to feed, especially on the breast that had mastitis previously. He would constantly be on and off my breast during feeds which is probably one of the reasons I developed mastitis in the first place. Also there was no chance I could feed in public because there was just too much going on for him to stay focused. I did try my hardest to keep feeding him but every week it just got harder and harder.

By the time he was 6 months he finally broke through a tooth and I was getting grazed nipples so between the not being interested in breastfeeding and the whole teeth thing I decided for me it was best to transition to formula. It wasn't an easy choice to make but it was the right choice for me! I'm not going to sit here and say breast fed is best bla bla bla because that's not what this blog is about!

So over the next few weeks we transitioned to bottles. It was a slow progress because all of a sudden the kid decided that he would rather the boob! It also took many different types of bottles for me to find one he actually likes drinking from! When transitioning you just think he will take any bottle there wont be an issue but apparently there was.

I tried Avent nope didn't like that, then I tried pigeon nope didn't like that either, then tried closer to nature which he didn't like at the time but now will drink from if he really has to! Yes you heard it this kid is fussy with his bottles apparently! Finally we found the bottle he likes which isn't the cheapest but he will drink from it which is the main thing! So we are using the comotomo which after doing a lot of research on transitioning they are really good for breastfed babies. What I found with the comotomo bottle is its daddy friendly (ie easy to clean and use), its BPA free and the body is made of a clear medical grade silicon which you can squeeze, very useful for those bad teething days when Bman found it painful to suck, I could just squeeze away and all he would have to do is swallow.

When I first came to the decision to transition to formula I thought it would be easy, boob off, bottle on... oh how nice in hindsight that sounds.
It wasn't easy, it wasn't even quick, like everything to do with babies it was a slow time consuming process. First things first, all the nurses love to tell you about how to breast feed, what they dont prepare you for is transitioning from breast feeding. I knew nothing of how my breasts would react to weening my little man off them, turns out they are probably the slowest thing to react to this process. Even three months down the track from transitioning to bottle feeding and Im still producing a little bit of milk.

The process started for me by changing one daily feed at a time from breast to bottle over 2 days for a total of 2 weeks, this gave Brandon time to adjust not only to the routine, but gave his digestive system time to adjust also. One thing they dont tell you is you shouldnt pump excess breast milk otherwise your body keeps milk supply up. So all I could do is hop in a warm shower and try to hand express only the top bit to release a bit of the pain. My gosh did my breasts get huge... my husband was definitely happy, but like everything its all temporary.

I was very lucky to be able to breastfeed for 6 months as some mothers don't even get that opportunity. Something they don't tell you when you're Pregnant is breastfeeding is very hard and time consuming! It doesn't come naturally at all to start with. It takes lots and lots of practice for both you and your baby! And not everyone can breastfeed, I was just one of those lucky mothers who was able to breastfeed even if it was just for a short period!

Self Settling......Its not a myth!

I often get asked "how does Brandon just put himself to sleep??" So what a perfect subject for me to write about. How did I self settle with Brandon!

No self settling is not a myth!

I firstly want to say that I'm not a sleep expert and have had no sleep training what so ever. I'm just sharing my experience as a new mum.

We had decided months before Brandon was born we would try to not be those parents who would rock their baby to sleep. Lets face it though you do what works for you in those early days. Really we where not to know how he would be once he was born. We would do what would work for us! Some babies are just natural self settlers. I was one of those lucky parents who has a self settler. He was either natural or the time he spent in Special Care taught him to put himself to sleep.

Brandon spent 5 nights in special care I would go in every 3 hours feed him change him and put him into his bed AWAKE. This was probably the best thing I could have done. At that moment I didn't realise that I was actually setting him up to learn to self settle. I was just going with the flow. I had no idea what I was doing and neither did he but he learnt! I was learning too. At that time we where both learning from each other.

Babies are unique! Just like their sleep habits. They wont all do the same things with naps, bed time, or night time sleep.

I'm not going to sit here and lie, and say he 100% puts himself to sleep every single time. Because lets be honest that is far from the truth! We actually went through a stage where I would just feed him to sleep because that was just the easiest thing to do. This was during one of those amazing wonder weeks! I quickly realized he was using my boob as a dummy and I had to teach him that the boob is not for putting to sleep. I even offered him a dummy at this stage which he had no clue what to do with he just chewed on it! His since progressed from breastfeeding to the formula. I'm feeling so much better about bottle feeding. He was getting extremely distracted with breast feeding and definitely wasn't getting enough milk so was waking very regularly during the night.

Some days I will put him down for a sleep and he will do quite a bit of protesting but he soon realizes who's boss in this situation and its certainly not him!

At the age of about 6 months I thought I would introduce a comforter. Seriously this kid loves his comforters! No that's not a typeo its comforters more than 1! He actually uses them to put himself to sleep. He rubs them on his face and bang his out in a few minutes! Please if your going to get a comforter get a few of the same one. I bought the bear when i was pregnant and I made the big mistake of only buying one and his so in love with it and do you think I can remember where i got it from? Nope! I have literally been everywhere to try and atleast find one similar with no success to date!

Sometimes Brandon likes to what I like to think is testing us! I do everything possible to not pick him up when his doing this. I will SHHHHH loudly and just pat the mattress next to his head and that seems to calm him down enough that I can walk out of the room. I also got given this magic device for my babyshower called a "baby shusher" saves those head spins from going SHHHH over and over again! Call me lazy but let me tell you it works!

A sleep cycle is generally 40-45 minutes sometimes during a nap he will wake up after this period but he will put himself back to sleep because his become aware that his still tired and needs to sleep longer. It has taken me a form of "sleep training" to get him into this routine. Which involved about a solid week of resettling after he woke after 40 minutes in the day time.  Now most days he sleeps 1-2 hours in the morning and 40 minutes in the afternoon sometimes we are lucky enough to get another 2 hours but that's rare!


So my advice to new mums is try self settling from the moment they are born basically start when your in hospital. Because seriously who wants to rock a 10kg+ baby to sleep every single time they need to have a sleep. I know that's something i never wanted to do. I can only imagine it would be painful on your back and arms.

How Do I Get Meals On The Table?

Last night I said to my husband "I'm really not sure what I should write about for tomorrows blog" his response was simple "why don't you write about how we get fed every night" Typical man thinking with his belly! If only a women's life was that simple!

So this got me thinking back when Brandon was a new born how the hell did I manage to get food on the table?

Then i remembered all my new born did was sleep in those early days so when he would have his naps that's when i would cook up a storm! And i used my slow cooker ALOT!!! and i still do. Its one of my most used appliances.

Some days i really wonder how i manage to cook our dinner and organise Brandon for bed! But it is manageable. Dinner doesn't need to be anything fancy or expensive it just needs to be healthy, tasty and easy!


One of the meals that i always go to if I'm not sure what to cook and we don't have much left in the fridge for the week is a easy stir fry!
Its not expensive and quick and easy!

Mince (I generally use Turkey or Chicken)
Kale Slaw (this is just a mix of vegetables)
Extra Kale
Soba Noodles
Sauce (you can literally use any sauce you like)
It's so simple just cook the Mince in the pan. Once the Mince is cooked all the Kale slaw cook for a minute, then add the extra kale and sauce. Meanwhile cook the noodles and then add them to the pan. And your done!
Now at first my husband turned his nose up at this saying "ewww kale I don't speak Spanish". Turns out he knew nothing about Kale or where it even came from. I've since converted him its now one of his favorite meals!

One little secret is tell your husband it's Kale CHIPS! Key word being chips they don't even hear the kale part they just hear chips!

Now I really think about it dinner is easy to organise. Lunch on the other hand can be tricky some days. My husband is constantly telling me you really need to eat lunch babe! So these days I make sure i have a big breakfast so if I don't get a chance to have lunch till late I've at least got something substantial in my belly.

So to those new mums wondering "how will I cook and look after my baby??" Just keep it simple, easy and healthy! And if you have a slow cooker use it as much as you can!

Surviving the first month with a new born

A few of my amazing girl friends have recently given birth. So this got me thinking about having a new babe (not yet but still got me thinking) The amazement, the pain, the stress, the confusion, the I have no idea what i'm doing......

Nothing can ever prepare you for the whole birthing and newborn experience! It doesn't matter how many books you read, or the amount of Googling you do. Trust me i spent so much time Googling, although i would never tell my husband that, because I am forever telling him not to Google diagnose!

It's all well and good to think about 'sleepless nights' and 'baby blues' in theory. But in practice its just so overwhelming. Don't get me wrong the first month is the hardest! Once you know what your doing it all calms down.

Bringing Brandon home from hospital was the hardest part! I actually told my husband after an hour of being home that we where going back to hospital and we where just going to live there! Completely ridiculous now i think about it and i actually have a laugh! We went from being in special care and getting alot of help and advice to being sent home and being completely on our own! All i could think was how are we meant to do this on our own without help?? We survived!!! And you aren't on your own there is so much support!

Now breastfeeding is not easy, that's something people just don't tell you! I was very lucky when it came to breastfeeding my milk came in thick and fast and i learnt fast with all the one on one help with every feed in special care!

When your milk first comes in its super uncomfortable and leakage is just the norm! I wore breast pads from 20 weeks! I had a really awkward leaking breast at work one day! I had to walk around with my jacket done up just to cover it! But really leaking boobs are just the beginning!

So here are a few tips i found useful!

• Don't go more than 3-4 hours without either feeding or expressing. This will stop any engorgement.
• Get out atleast once a day-even if yo just walk around the block.
• Connect with the outside world! Call a friend or just a send a txt.
• Join a mothers group. That support is exactly what you need as a new mum!
• Don't have too many visitors.
• Take LOADS of photos!
• Don't get too hung up on a routine! I am only just getting a routine now and my little guy is 8 months.
• Some people just say let the washing pile up as house work can wait! In my experience its more stressful leaving it. So i made a solid effort of making sure the washing was atleast done.
• If someone offers help take it! Even if they bring over a hot meal for you!
• Eat well! This is especially important if your breastfeeding! Yes breastfeeding burns calories, but if you want to get the weight off sooner rather than later fresh and healthy is best
• Breathe! When your babe is crying it can be extremely stressful! Take some deep breaths. If you have to put your babe in their cot walk away for a moment catch your breath and try again. Babies feed off your stress and anxiety!

With poo under your nails, pee in your face, milk leaking boobs. It can be hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But honestly it does get easier! Once you know what your actually doing you will survive! Once you get through the first month it gets easier!

Screen Time before the age of 2......

Now this is definitely a tricky subject in this day and age to talk about… babies screen time before the age of 2 years old…  Whats normal, whats healthy, what do you do? As new parents we had so much more on our plate to deal with than thinking about if our baby was watching screen time too much, you know that feeling when your cooking dinner and its so easy to put a wiggles show on so you have 10-15 minutes of silence to get dinner done. Turns out there is a lot of good research out there regarding this topic and I’m not going to act like an expert on the subject, because I’m definitely not, but for today's blog I'm going to discuss what I found and how its going to reduce my reliance on screen time for my babe before he reaches his 2 year birthday.  

Throughout early childhood parenting there is a million decisions you have to make, all of them important, and like all parents I believe in moderation, some parents will allow their children to watch TV if that works for you then don’t let me change your mind. I’m just sharing my ideas and what I have found.

In looking into the topic, I started my research online, lets be honest that’s where most of our research starts in this day and age, but in particular with this topic, screen time has changed from the day and age when the families sat in the living room watching an hour of tv before bedtime, to children with portable devices in their hands for extended periods all day, everyday.

With the introduction of the touch screen devices starting with the apple iphone in 2007 (not long ago when you think about it) human behavior has changed in such a way that a touch screen device is commonly attach to your hands or eyes on an hourly basis. Even just watching my husband, each day/night he uses his phone to conduct business as well as being an avid amateur photographer, I regularly catch him up at 1-2am doing work. I thought he would be the hardest person to convert on the topic of screen time use with our baby. How wrong was I? He was completely on board with my ideas of parenting.

The conversation one night went like this

Me : “Babe what do you think about screen time late at night and long term health effects”

Husband : “That’s why I have Night Shift activated”

Me : “Ummmmmm whats that?”

Husband : “Its where between sunset and sunrise your iphone and laptop remove blue light from the screen so it doesn’t affect your melatonin production and prevents it affecting your circadian rhythm”

Me : (blank stare)

Husband : “Circadian rhythm is your sleep cycle”

Me : “ohhhhhhhhh”

Turns out my husband had thought about this topic a lot, modified his screen time behaviour to limit its negative health affects for him, so if there was research for Adult Screen time, what else could there be out there for babies?

Sleep

A quick search of melatonin raised a huge wealth of information, all of which can help mummas and babies out there to improve your sleep, so ill share a bit of what I found.

Melatonin is a hormone that is in every human, its produced usually at night time by your pineal gland that’s located in the center of your brain, and is a regulator of your circadian rhythm (sleep cycle) as well as having many other biological benefits for your immune system, it’s a powerful anti-oxidants and can reduce headaches etc, even early links with cancer prevention… pretty interesting stuff right.

So what does screen time and melatonin production have to do with each other you ask? It turns out the receptors in your eyes when observing blue light during the day (think how blue the sky is) will actually stop melatonin production, and during the night when there is no blue light your pineal gland goes into full production of Melatonin, which triggers your circadian rhythm. For this reason its why most people who do overseas travel use melatonin supplements to reduce jet lag and force their body back into a sleep cycle.

So whats blue light and melatonin production got to do with screen time… Turns out a lot. When you look at a screen (weather it’s a laptop, tv, phone etc) the imagine that you see is made up of small points of lights, they are RED, GREEN and BLUE… so unfortunately for all of us, we are looking directly into a screen of blue light every night, lowering our production of melatonin and wondering why we cant easily fall asleep anymore. Easy fix is to limit the screen time, or enable blue light limiting features on your phone. Apple has a built in feature called “night shift” and im sure Andriod devices will have their own product to lower blue light on your screens at night.

Brain development

To start with, I was shocked to learn that in just the first 12 months of a babies development their brain triples in mass, Triples…. I nearly fell off my chair when I read that number. There is no other time in your life that the human brain will grow at that rate. Ever!!

www.mikewirthart.com

So what happens during all of this brain growth when your stimulated by screen time, well studies have shown that babies stare at bright colours and motions on a screen, but they aren’t able to process them and make sense of their meaning. It takes 2 full years for a babies brain to develop to a point where the symbols make sense and they understand what they see on the screen is equivalent to in real life.

A perfect real world example of this is spatial awareness, the ability to be aware of oneself in space and or the understanding of objects and their change in position.

Now look at how us kids were brought up under 2 years old back in the good old days before tv’s. Someone threw a ball at us, we watched it leave the hand, move through the air, roll across the floor and eventually stop, all in the wonderful world of 3D vision in one fluid motion start to finish, we could touch the ball, play with it afterwards, put it in our mouth and throw it away again. We knew where we stood in relation to the ball because our visual reference system (our eyes) used the many depth perception clues to determine it, and we also watch the balls position change in relation to our position, all of this in one ball toss, crazy ehy, and that big old sponge of a brain took it all in for next time when it saw the ball being thrown.

Now modern day kids are being shown a ball toss on a screen, its broken up into scenes, you see the ball leave the hand, cut to the next scene where it’s in motion flying through the air, the last scene is it landing on the ground before disappearing. The baby can’t lunge for it, they can’t grasp it, they just lose the ability to confirm what they saw in 2D on the screen is actually a ball, before being bombarded by the next set of images. Depth perception is lacking because their eyes are only focused on the screen, and not constantly learning to adapt to the environment around them.

What happens when a baby sees someone on TV, they instinctively smile at them, but the person on the TV doesn’t smile back? So not only does this affect their understanding of social interactions with other people, but it also makes them think that in life that there is no point smiling because no one smiles back.

I remember as a child not spending time infront of the TV but going outside riding our bikes around the street and playing ball games in the backyard. So I know as Brandon gets older I will be taking him to the parks, and kicking the ball with him. Also we will encourage him to play outside as much as possible. We have already started taking him to the park when it’s a nice day. As well as playing different games with him on the floor. This is how babies develop their skills.

We wont have a hard and fast rule that Brandon wont watch a screen whether it’s a Iphone or TV, but we will limit his amount of time he will be infront of them based on the currently available research online.

So next time you’re with your partner, put your phone ontop of his/hers and have some time to unplug and reconnect with them. Life’s short, enjoy it without facebook/twitter/Instagram/pokemon etc.

I could honestly write about this topic till I’m blue in the face but seriously who wants me to go on with such an in-depth subject! At the end of the day everyone can make their own choices and everyone has their own parenting style! And I will do what works for me and my family.

4 Month Sleep Regression....How did i survive?

Rewind back to when my beautiful little man was about 3 months old. And an amazing sleeper! I would listen to other mothers complain about how much their babies where waking over night and i was high fiving myself thinking yeah I'm nailing parenting. He sleeps 10-12 hours a night would sometimes wake once but that's fine with me. Well i thought i was doing great......

Suddenly he hits 4 months and goes from sleeping all night to waking ALOT!!! Some nights he would wake hourly from midnight and i would just wack him on the boob because that was the easy thing to do. Now i think about it it was actually a really bad habit to get into because i was basically feeding him back to sleep which was a dreadful habit to get into.

I spent long nights googling what to do with my now devil child.....and different products i could buy to help him sleep!

Now i think back its around this time he also started the dreadful teething. So a combination of sleep regression and teething we had a fun few months. I know i wasn't alone my other friends where going through a similar stage. And i call it a stage because that's what it was. Babies go through different stages it may be not sleeping, not wanting to eat. We need to always remind ourself that eventually all babies will sleep through the night!

The 4 month sleep regression can be from a big growth and development spurt. A babies brain can suddenly become alot more "on" and they become alot more alert. At 4 months babies learn alot more. Like learning to roll over and master these skills. They much rather practice their new learnt skills than sleep.

I spent many days just going to the shops and not actually shopping but just pushing him in his pram because i knew he would atleast sleep in the pram and stay asleep for more than 40 minutes. I guess that had a huge part in the amount of weight i have lost post baby.

I remind anyone that is going through the devil 4 month sleep regression. Its just a stage and it will come to and end! Coffee was my best friend and still is. And although my beautiful little man isn't quite sleeping through yet his sleeping alot better than he was! Also sleep regression can start as early as 3 months or as late as 6 months.

During this time we also went to a class on sleep Sleep and Settle this was run by the amazing Natalie Ebrill. Shes seriously amazing! That class taught me alot about settling and a routine which i'm now doing. Brandon went from only having cat naps to now sleeping good naps in the day time. Which means i can do alot around the house and actually have me time! Because as a mum that me time is very important! Anyone that asks me what I do routine wise i send them straight to this routine.

To be entirely honest to this day i still have no idea how i really survived this awful stage! I spent days crying to my husband he just would remind me its a stage and it will eventually be over and our happy little guy would be back! Let me tell you how right he was! Oh and did i mention the coffee!!! Oh i didn't well coffee has a huge part in just generally surviving as a mum!

When I don't have food prepared

I love to only give Brandon food i have prepared but lets be honest here I'm not always that organised so sometimes i let myself down and he gets packaged food! Yep bad mum lol! There is only one brand i like to use because whats on the packaging is exactly whats in there. So there is no added sugars. The brand i like to use is Rafferty's Garden. I have done my fair bit share of research on baby food now every mother is different and i much prefer to cook my own food. But lets really be honest there are times where you just done get a chance to cook so Refferty's Garden seems to be the best.

Today is one of those days where i honestly have nothing prepared and i have limited supplies so i have just put together some sweet potato, potato and zucchini. I just put it all in my Bellini for about 15 minutes. Once its cooled down i then puree it. I also have some chicken frozen that i will add to his meal. He would love to always eat packaged food because apparently that taste alot nicer to him! But seriously that's not happening buddy!

Lately his just been eating the meals that i have been cooking for my husband and i and his really been enjoying all the flavors. Tonight we are having pizza so his certainly not having pizza with us! So chicken and vegetables it is mate!

He generally has the same thing for breakfast every day which he loves!!!! Its the same brand as i have for his formula so i know it wont upset his belly! He will have anywhere from 2-5 tablespoons of the porridge. I go between original flavor and apple and cinnamon. He loves both well for now anyways. Before he changes his mind!

Brandon has always been an amazing eater when it comes to solids!
He currently has 3 meals a day and i also give him finger food to practice the chewing skills because he seriously hates when i don't puree his food enough! dam child learn to chew!

When babies get to 6 months old they need to start practice chewing to develop their jaw for chewing. By the age of 9 months babies or should i say toddlers should really be eating more solid foods rather than purees. If they don't practice chewing their jaws don't develop and they can have problems with their speech and swallowing later in their life.

I don't always have my shit together

I have friends who often tell me "you're always so happy and positive all the time. You really have your shit together".

I often think really? am I really that person? Do I always seem to have my shit together and know what i'm doing all the time? Does anyone really have their shit together all the time? I may seem like I always have my shit together, but sometimes I don't. Some days it will be 7am and here i am thinking is it bed time for my little bipolar baby yet?

Some days I love nothing more than being a mum, some days its like would you just give me 5 minutes to myself instead of feeling the need to climb all over me like a crazy kid! Seriously this kid seems to think I'm his personal tree and would rather climb all over me than play with any of his toys or play on the floor. Seriously buddy do you know what personal space is? what that's a no ok go ahead continue climbing all over me......

The thing that really keeps my shit together is my most amazing mothers group! We literally talk every single day. I talk to them more than i talk to my pre baby friends. I never planned on actually joining a mothers group, it actually scared the shit out of me. All i could think was why would i want to make new friends with other judging mums. Boy was I wrong! These girls are not like that at all we don't judge. That support net work is exactly what you need when your a new mum! Once a week we catch up let the babies go wild on the floor while we eat cake and drink large cups of coffee!

We talk about anything and everything there is no limits when it comes to these girls! Its also amazing for our kids to grow up together and develop relationships with other babies. Brandon has already found his first girl friend in Edie whos just the cutiest little girl you will meet! I can understand why he has eyes for her! They are just so sweet together! Hannah should we arrange this marriage already?

So basically i wouldn't have my shit together most of the time if it wasnt for these amazing girls i have found amazing friendships with! Someone once said to me Friendships are born when one person says to another "What you too? i thought i was the only one!.
Let me tell you that is so true when it comes to these girls! I am very lucky to have found such amazing supportive girls who we have definitely all bonded from day one! I count my lucky stars every single day!

My Birth Story

On Friday 13^th November 2015, I had my regular 36 week scan to check our baby’s measurements and positioning before delivery at 40 weeks. Well, so I thought...

Once we had our scan I saw our obstetrician, Dr Jillian Spilsbury, who advised us that our baby was measuring quite small. She said this was completely fine, however the doppler readings were off the chart. She asked us to go away for the weekend hoping that the readings would get better, but said there was a chance I would need to be induced the following week.

We made an appointment for another scan the following week and an appointment to see Dr Felicity Parks. Let me tell you, it was the longest weekend of my life! I did a lot of cooking and cleaning to keep my mind on other things as all I could focus on was the fact I could possibly be delivering my baby the following week. Somehow I new in my gut that I wouldn't be coming home after our next appointment.

On Tuesday 17^th November 2015, we went in for our scan. There were no improvements so it was agreed that I would be induced the following day. I had a wave of emotions going on but more than anything I was super excited that we would be meeting our baby the next day.

I was admitted to the birthing suites for monitoring and steroids to make sure our baby’s lungs were nice and strong. Once they knew I wasn’t in labour I was sent up to the maternity ward for a good night’s rest.

The next morning at about 6am I thought I was just having my usual Braxton Hicks which I had been experiencing from about 20 weeks. But it turns out I had begun going into labour naturally, so I was taken back down to the birthing suites to be monitored before my waters were broken.

All I was thinking was today is the day we meet our baby. Would we have a boy or a girl? We hadn’t found out the sex of our baby which made the day even more exciting.

At about 8am Dr Jillian Spillsbury came in and started me on the syntocinon injections and broke my waters, which was not as bad as I thought it would be.

From here the day seems a bit foggy - it was the longest and shortest day of my life.

I had planned to have a natural birth and to try and go drug-free for as as long as I could.  My husband Brent was a huge support and helped me with my breathing. Our baby’s heart rate would drop when I would lay on my back or sat up so I was restricted to lying on my left side throughout my entire labour. This was definitely challenging as I wasn’t able to get up and move around as planned. From here on the only real plan was for Brent to tell me the sex of our baby.

By around lunch time things started to get a bit difficult. Jillian came to check on me and said she thought I would have had the baby by now. She adjusted the syntocinon and asked the midwife not to change it because the baby needed to be born as soon as possible, due to fluctuations in its heart rate.

At 3pm I tried using the gas, which did help for a little while, particularly with my breathing. At 3:45pm I was ready for an epidural as I was only 6cm dilated. I realised I probably still had a few hours to go and I was started to get tired. I was not scared at all of giving birth  - my only fear was having a massive needle in my spine!!!! Gary the anesthesiologist soon put my mind at ease.

At 4:15pm I was fully dilated and began pushing. It was then I realised how unfit I actually was! This was the scariest time of my life to date. Our baby’s heart rate was dropping at a rapid rate. Jillian had phoned the paediatrician and told her to get there quickly because she expected that our baby wouldn’t be breathing once it was delivered. I have never seen so many people pile into a room so quickly.

I began to push and our baby’s heart rate was now at zero…….but with just three pushes and a vacuum assisted delivery, our baby was born with a good set of lungs - screaming!!!!! What an amazing feeling it was hearing my baby scream for the first time and knowing our baby was going to be ok! Everyone in the room was relieved! I asked my husband if we had a boy or a girl. He said: “Oh my god baby it’s got the biggest balls I have ever seen! We have boy!!” Brandon was born at 4:22pm.

There was no discussion on the name we had decided months earlier we would name him Brandon Laurence Gooley if we had a boy. Laurence is a Gooley middle name that has been passed down.

We were not out of danger yet as Brandon was very tiny. I got to spend a little bit of time with him before he was taken away to special care. He was a tiny 2kg (4 pounds). Our little IUGR baby! He was a fighter from the moment he was born.

He spent five nights in special care and then was discharged into my care for two nights before we got to go home. He started to thrive so quickly and you wouldn’t believe we still have the same baby, who is now eight months old this week and growing up way too quickly.